ARE SMARTPHONES SAFE?
Aloha, friends 💛
I keep saying this on the podcast, but it’s worth saying again: tech kind of hit our culture like a bomb. Most of us parents never had smartphones as kids, and now we’re trying to raise children and teens in a world where a whole universe of content lives in their pocket.
In a recent conversation on All Things Possible with Clare Morell, author of The Tech Exit, we zoomed in on one big question:
What do we do when our teens are already deep into tech… and we suddenly realize, “Whoa, I want off this ride”?
I want you to hear this loud and clear:
Conviction is a gift from God. Shame is not.
When He opens our eyes to something harmful in our home, it’s an invitation to act, not to stay stuck.
The “Cool Mom” Trap and Its Hidden Cost
We chatted on the show about how many parents don’t want to be “that” mom or dad, the strict one, the uncool one, the parent who says no when everyone else is saying yes.
But here’s the sobering truth Clare sees over and over:
When we hand our teens a smartphone, we’re not just giving them a tool. We’re inviting the entire world into our parenting.
Predators
Pornography
Sextortion
Distorted body image and sexuality
Endless comparison and loneliness
Even with parental controls and time limits, parents do not have true visibility into what happens inside apps like Snapchat, TikTok, Discord, and even some “safe” educational or Bible apps.
Clare shared stories of boys who fell into sextortion schemes in a single night and were so overcome with shame and fear that they took their own lives. These were “good kids” from loving families, who were alone in their room with a phone.
As a mom, that makes my heart ache, and honestly, it fires me up.
Scripture reminds us:
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
If our children’s hearts are that precious, then our boundaries around tech are not “overreactions,” they’re acts of fierce protection and love.
It’s Not Too Late to Reverse Course
Maybe you’re thinking, “Bethany, my kid is already 14. They’ve had a phone for years. I missed my chance.”
You didn’t.
Clare’s whole book is built on this hopeful truth: it is never too late to change direction.
She talks about:
A 30-day digital detox that can literally help reset your child’s brain and nervous system
Kids and teens who initially resisted but later thanked their parents
A teen boy whose phone was taken away at 14, and he noticed positive changes in himself after the detox
There’s even research showing some kids who were diagnosed with ADHD or similar struggles were actually experiencing what one doctor calls “electronic screen syndrome,” their nervous systems were constantly in fight-or-flight from interactive screens (gaming, tablets, smartphones). After a screen detox, many of their symptoms dramatically improved.
Is that wild or what?
When you realize you’ve handed your child a tool that’s too powerful, it’s okay to say:
“I’m sorry. We didn’t understand how harmful this could be. Now that we know, we’re going to make a change because we love you.”
That kind of humility doesn’t weaken your parenting. It strengthens your relationship.
It’s Not Just Phones: Video Games and “Cute” Kids’ Shows
We also talked about video games like Minecraft and Fortnite, and even shows like Cocomelon.
Interactive screens (where kids are tapping, swiping, leveling up, earning rewards) are designed to be highly addictive. Each “win” gives the brain a little dopamine hit. Over time, kids can lose interest in real-life experiences because the screen feels more stimulating than reality.
Parents told Clare things like:
“It was only 15 minutes a day on Minecraft, but it completely changed my son’s personality.”
Even some kids’ shows are engineered to hold attention at all costs, with fast cuts, bright flashing colors, and constant movement. Designers literally tweak the shows anytime a child’s eyes wander away from the screen so they won’t look back at real life.
It’s no wonder we’re seeing loneliness, anxiety, and depression skyrocket in this generation.
The Bible gives us such a different vision:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” (Romans 12:2 )
We want our kids’ minds renewed in truth, beauty, and real relationships, not constantly rewired by addictive tech.
Parenting from Conviction, Not Fear
When we hear stats about exploitation, pornography, predators, and mental health, it’s easy to spiral into fear. I feel that as a mom too.
But God does not call us to parent from panic. He calls us to wise, courageous stewardship.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
We are called to:
Protect our kids’ hearts and bodies
Disciple them in what is good and beautiful
Be present, not distracted
Say hard “no’s” that are really big “yes’s” to abundant life
We will not do this perfectly. But the Lord is faithful to meet us, forgive us, and help us course-correct.
Two Simple Steps You Can Take This Month
Clare ended our conversation with two super practical steps you can start right away:
1. Try a Family Screen Detox
Aim for 30 days if you can. If that feels huge, start with a week.
Pick a start date.
Clearly explain to your kids why you’re doing this, out of love and protection.
Remove smartphones, tablets, video games, and social media for that period.
Fill the time with real-life fun: nature, board games, cooking, sports, reading, serving together.
You might be shocked by the version of your child you’ve been missing.
2. Model Tech Boundaries Yourself
Before we change our kids’ tech habits, we often need to change our own.
Try:
Creating a phone box and leaving all phones there during meals and family time
Turning off most notifications
Removing unnecessary apps from your phone
Switching your phone to grayscale
Putting it away when your child is talking to you and making eye contact
Our kids are learning how to be adults by watching us. Let’s show them what healthy, non-addicted tech use actually looks like.
Two Big Takeaways
It’s never too late to change course with tech.
You can apologize, reset, and choose a new path—even with teens. A smartphone-free or low-tech lifestyle is not deprivation; it’s a positive “no” that makes room for deeper connection, peace, and real-life joy.Your courage to set boundaries now is an act of love, not cruelty.
You may not be the “cool” mom or dad in the short term, but you will be the faithful one—protecting your child’s heart, mind, and body in a world that’s trying hard to capture them.
If this stirred something in you, I really encourage you to check out The Tech Exit by Clare Morell. You don’t have to figure this out alone. There’s a growing movement of parents choosing a different way and it is so worth it.
With you in this,
Bethany 🌊 🙏
