Motherhood Mindsets: Choosing Joy, Repair, and Truth

The other day I laughed at myself because I accidentally bought a bright yellow shirt while wearing my blue-light glasses. I thought it was white in the store, but when I got home and pulled it out of the bag, there it was—neon sunshine. At first I was like, what in the world? But then I decided to just embrace it. And honestly, I’ve come to love it because it’s bright and cheery, even when life feels overwhelming.

Motherhood can feel a lot like that yellow shirt. We have expectations for what it should look like—peaceful mornings, kids happily playing, productive days—but instead, we find ourselves with messy kitchens, sleepless nights, and children who challenge us in ways we never imagined. It doesn’t always look how we thought it would. And yet, God uses these unexpected moments to bring us into deeper growth, humility, and reliance on Him.

I had the joy of sitting down with my friend Kari Kampakis to talk about motherhood—its beauty, its chaos, and the mindsets that either lift us up or drag us down. Kari’s wisdom comes from years of raising four daughters, writing books, and walking through the real trenches of parenting. She reminded me that so much of motherhood comes down to mindset.

The Trap of Negative Narratives

Kari shared how easy it can be to slip into defeat when our kids are little or when they become teenagers. Maybe you’ve heard people say, “Just wait until they’re teens—they’ll be a nightmare.” That kind of mindset plants seeds of negativity before you’ve even entered that season. And when challenges come, it’s tempting to believe the worst about our kids, or even about ourselves.

I’ve been there too. After my second son, I was exhausted, depleted, and on edge. I remember crying in the kitchen over spilled food because it felt like the last straw. My reactions weren’t what I wanted them to be. It was a wake-up call that something needed to change—nutritionally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Kari said something that stuck with me: “Any relationship that’s long term requires repair and reflection.” That includes parenting. Our kids don’t always know how to bridge the gap, so it starts with us as parents. That means apologizing when we lose our temper, choosing honesty, and being willing to do the hard work of mending connection.

Narratives vs. Truth

One of the biggest takeaways from our conversation was how dangerous the narratives in our head can be. Maybe your teenager slams the door, and the story you tell yourself is: She hates me. I’m a terrible mom. Or maybe your little one throws a tantrum in public and you think: Everyone’s judging me. I can’t do this.

But often, those narratives aren’t true. Kari shared a story about confronting a friend after feeling excluded. Instead of staying silent and letting bitterness grow, she was brave enough to say, “That hurt my feelings.” It opened the door for truth, grace, and repair.

We can do the same in motherhood. Instead of letting the enemy twist our thoughts into lies, we can cling to what God says: “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7, ESV).

Community and Perspective

Motherhood was never meant to be walked alone. Kari encouraged moms to seek out community—even if it looks different for each child or season. Sometimes it’s an older mentor, a neighbor, or a Bible study group. Sometimes it’s an old friend from college who lives in another city.

I’ve learned to be intentional about surrounding myself with friends who will encourage me as a wife and mom, not drag me deeper into negativity. We need people who will point us back to the truth, who will pray for us, and who will remind us of the joy in our children when all we can see is the struggle.

Most of all, we need to anchor ourselves in God’s Word and promises. Our feelings may waver, our patience may fail, but His love for us and our children never changes.

Two Major Takeaways

1. Repair is essential. Motherhood will stretch you and expose your weaknesses, but learning to apologize, reflect, and repair relationships is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. It teaches them skills they’ll carry into friendships, marriage, and life.

2. Guard your narratives. The stories we tell ourselves about our kids and about motherhood can either defeat us or encourage us. When negative thoughts creep in, pause and realign them with God’s truth. Don’t let false narratives steal the joy of raising your children.

Listen to the whole podcast here!

Motherhood isn’t always tidy or picture-perfect. Some days it feels more like that bright yellow shirt—unexpected, loud, and not what you imagined. But when we stay teachable, lean on God’s promises, and surround ourselves with truth-filled community, we can embrace even the messy parts with joy and hope.